Thank you so much for visting my page. I am truly blessed and honored you have taken this opportunity to learn more about me. Know, I personally value each and every interaction I have with you. (Even if it is just you coming to my site and never reaching out.) And yes, you being here reading this right now IS an interaction. (Energetically.) So, again, I hope you enjoy getting to know me on a more personal level. So, let's get to it!
I was born and raised in Wisconsin. And since, I have not left. However, as my own children grow older, the voice of the SOUTH gets louder and louder. So, I definitely see myself heading to Texas in my future. (My dad and half siblings live there.) I grew up in the city of Milwaukee with my mom, step-dad and 2 brothers. I was the only girl and the middle child. My step-dad passed away when I was 11 and from that moment on, my life was never the same.
For years I struggled with depression, isolation, sexual and physical abuse. I also had to endure my mother's issues with alcoholism, permiscuity, and lack of love. To be honest, I was all over the place. I was never a bad child. In fact, I spent most of those years hiding. Hiding from my mom, my older brother who beat and sexually abused me, and most of all, hiding from myself. I spent countless days sleeping in my closet with my dresser in front of my bedroom door. I didn't want to take the chance of my brother or my mother finding me. I also took a lot of weight off my younger brother. I defended him, I saved him and I protected him from them both. I am not gonna lie, I definitely felt like I was dead inside EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THAT LIFE! By this time, I was barely 13 years old. One night my older brother came home and attacked my mother with a large knife, repeatedly stabbing her over and over again. I went into complete shock and shut down.
By the time I was 15, my family moved to Menomonee Falls. I was completely lost. I was in a very dark place. I had very few friends, I wandered into the streets at night just to get away. I took a full time waitressing job while in school so I didn't have to be at home, OR more importantly, be ALONE. I did at this time have a friend we will call John. Oh, did I LOVE John. He was my whole life. My first love, my first real attempt at a relationship. I WANTED to be his everything. The problem was, I wasn't. And that was the, as you would say, "the icing on the cake." I was pretty much done with life. At 15 years old the depression and isolation consumed me so much, I became suicidal.
One night, my mother and I were yelling and screaming at each other. I remember going to the stairs leading up to the second floor, I sat on the steps crying. I got so angry, I said, "I am going upstairs to kill myself." At that moment, my mother walked over to me, stood at the bottom of the stairs and told me, "Go ahead and do it. It will be one less mouth to feed." Without any hesitation, I ran into her bathroom, grabbed all of her pills, ran into my room and shut the door. Bottle one opened, swallowed them all, bottle two opened, a handful went into my mouth. At this point, I was thinking I am almost free, just keep going. At that thought, my mother's boyfriend at the time, (we will call him Jim. And by the way, Jim was awesome. I really hoped my mom would not mess that relationship up, but looking at my story, she absolutely messed it up!) broke into my room, picked me up and took me to the hospital. My mother never came after me. I remember laying on the hospital bed as my stomach was being pumped, wondering if she followed me. I remember hearing a nurse telling me she had to bring in a police officer to arrest me so I can voluntarily admit myself. (Because my mother was not there, and refused to sign the papers to admit me.) Long story short on this one; I then went from hospital to group home to foster home, to being put on a Greyhound bus for 3 days to Texas, where at this time, I would meet my father for the first time. (That I remember) 3 months later, I was on another Greyhound bus back to Wisconsin.
From there it was repeat the 10th grade or work through an alternative. I chose to go to a technical college to earn my high school diploma. As you can see, from my story so far, I have had a lot of MALES leave me in some way, shape or form. My step-dad, my older brother, John, Jim, and not by his choice, my father. And to this day, my younger brother won't speak to me because I choose to not keep in contact with my mother. So, needless to say, My trust in men has always been lacking.
Fast forward a couple years, I meet, let's call him Jack. Jack was my ticket OUT! Jack was my second love. We had 3 children together. I thought I was finally free from all the shadows from my past. Well, wouldn't you know, I wasn't the one for him either. And Jack was VERY resentful of me. AND he STILL is. (It has been 15 years by the way. And he treats me like everything happened yesterday. Which, for the record, he left me for another woman, so why he is still so angry, beats me.) Jack is in a position over me. Mostly because my younger two children still live with him. So, he controls if, when, and how often I get to see my own children. And they live with him because when he left, ALL of my past came back to haunt me. So, in order to keep me from sliding back into severe depression, I dove into my job at the time. I traveled a lot. So, my traveling AND being single labeled me "unstable" to the state of Wisconsin. I miss my children every single day. BUT, I no longer feel the despair that I had for the first few years. I am quite content on things. My kids and I are in a good place. My daughter, we are working on it. She is definitely daddy's girl, and because Jack and I don't get along at all, my daughter and I see our lives differently. So, moving on.
For many years I have struggled to FEEL most feelings. I struggled to see value in myself. I struggled to accept responsibility for who I am and what I could be. BUT, over the last 9 years I have committed to healing all of my past traumas, negative experiences, etc. And I can proudly say, I wouldn't have changed any of my experiences. I needed them. If I did not have them, I would not be able to share them with you.
I have learned A LOT. I have cried A LOT. I have had many sleepless nights. I have had friends come and go. Men, over my adulthood not so much. Mostly, because I have only been in 3 long term relationships. (Well, technically 2. Remember me and John had a one way relationship. Just me. LOL) But anyway, since I currently am in a great place. (Within me.) I want to be able to share what I know with others. I have made the conscious decision to help everyone I can, for as long as I can.
I have the skills, talents and qualities it takes to help others find themselves within themselves. I know the effort it takes. I know each journey is different. I know the desire is there for a lot of people, especially, women. I know what TRANSFORMATION truly is. I know I can help YOU get there. I will be the support to you, I needed back then. I will give you the tools and resources YOU need to help YOU discover your most greatest desire.....YOU!
My mission is to Empower those who have been through periods of darkness and shadows. My TranSOULmation coaching program will help you turn your most un-talked about, un-recognized/un-acknowledged events, into milestones of GREATNESS, STRENGTH and POWER! We are ALL complete. We are ALL whole. Everything you will ever need, comes from and starts with you. It is time for you to wake up and realize how divine you are. Discover how AWESOME life can be when you have the power to create WHATEVER you want. If you are ready to stand up for YOURSELF, now is the time to call me, text me, email me, or whatever. Use the method that works best for you.
Thank you for taking the time to hear my story. I look forward to working with each and everyone of you.
Love, light and many blessings to you all!