This is for all those babies born during the 70's and 80's for SURE! But, I can guarantee, A LOT of people will resonate with this! How many times in your life have you been told to stop crying, to suck it up, or to stop being so sensitive? I am sure if we were in a room where we could see hands, everyone of them will be up. I am certain at some point in our lives this has happened. This is something that really hits my soul!
As children we NEED to have direction and guidance from others. We do not know what is right or wrong by SOCIETY. We only have the ability to know what is right and wrong for US. There IS a difference. We come into this world having all the tools we need to survive. The problem we face is it that because we can not talk, we then allow ourselves to be manipulated into thinking outside of ourselves. All of a sudden what our mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, day care workers, neighbors, etc. all think is good for us we buy into and CONFORM to what THEY see fit. I know you are gonna say, what choice do you have as a baby? And I get it, not much. BUT I also know even as babies, we have been sending signals and messages to our parents since birth! Yes, the crying, the anger, frustration, the turning our heads, the walking away, the tantrums. They are NOT just what kids do because they are kids. It is a child's way of communicating to us that we don't like what is going on, and then because we can not talk, we leave it up to the adult to figure it out! Yay! What a way to live, right?
Our intuition is always with us, no matter what circumstances we are in. The problem we face as humans is that when we are in a human body, we have to adapt to it. Meaning we have to change HOW we are connected to our own greater consciousness. Simply, it is harder to hear our inner voice. Especially as adults. Think about it, if we have spent over 30+ years doing what others have been telling us to do, how can you expect to just up and access it immediately? You can't. Unless you seek the help of a spiritual shaman and use some of his special psychedelics and participate in a ancient ritual, and even then, it will not last outside of the experience. It takes A LOT of conscious effort. Daily practices of meditation, quiet time, learning who you truly are, letting things go, etc. To me, it has been a rough road and I don't mean just rough. I mean my life has had some straight up crazy experiences. For a short recap, My step dad died when I was 11, my mother went straight into drugs, alcohol and sex, I was depressed, suicidal, my mother told me to go ahead and kill myself, so I tried, then I was hospitalized for weeks, (and my mother refused to admit me to the hospital even though I was a minor, so I had to be arrested and volunteer myself as I had a tube down my throat as the staff was pumping my stomach.) my mother then wouldn't let me come home, so I was in a group home, then a foster home, then my mother sent me to Texas to meet my FATHER who I had never met, not to mention knew NOTHING about. (I was alone on Greyhound bus for 3 days and nights at 16 years old.) Oh! and in between all that, I had an older brother who sexually abused me and beat me and my younger brother. He also attempted to kill us all one night, so I was witness to watching him stab my mother repeatedly after he attacked her on our driveway. And just an FYI, this all happened within 5 years. So, again, just a SHORT amount of my life! But I always bring up these examples because they were indeed the worst of the worst. And it is important to me that I am able to talk about my life and experiences to others so they can understand we all have a choice. My life could have turned out very differently. But I CHOSE to NOT be a statistic. I CHOSE to not accept who the world wanted me to be. I CHOSE to stand up for myself, and my brother, and eventually for ANYONE who thinks less of themselves. It is a shame to see how many people can't even really look at themselves in a mirror. And I mean REALLY look at themselves. NO make up, no clothes, and just stand there to see who they are in a totally natural state. Vulnerable, exquisite, a masterpiece design.
As an adult I was HARD! I was down right mean. I had only a few friends, I never let anyone in. I didn't let anyone tell me what to do, I never let anyone help me. I was all about being on my own and doing everything on my own. I was too prideful to accept anyone or anything outside of myself. I had so many fears; being not enough, not making enough money, not loving enough, not giving enough, I could go on, but I think you get the point. After many years, I was tired. I was so frustrated that life was NOT what I thought it should have been. I was angry that I wasn't in the perfect relationship, I wasn't making more money, I was always falling behind on something. Life was getting so old to me. And I was only about 30 years old. I dreaded getting up out of bed, I dreaded having to take care of not only myself, but my kids. I was tired of looking and feeling like I was tired. I knew I had to change, but how?
If you have read any of my other blogs, I had an accident in 2009 that left me pretty immobile. I had bricks fall on my head and affected all of my movement from the neck down. Anyway, I knew I needed to change, so the universe said, "it shall be done." LOL! Well, it wasn't quite the way I was expecting it to happen! BUT, after years of struggling with pain and immobility, I woke up one day and said, "no more." I was not going to accept my diagnosis of semi permanent nerve damage, I was not going to live off of opium and morphine and gabapentin, or Cymbalta anymore. I had to have the lightbulb moment. And this moment happened the day I discovered Author and Renowned psychic Sylvia Browne. I had always been interested in metaphysical studies, but never really dug into it. When I read one of her books, I was eager to try anything. I started slowly with meditation. The more I meditated, the less pain medication I needed. I was shocked. And I started to realize how angry I was. And how much I hated my life and how I was living. I realized I NEVER talked about my feelings. I never gave myself the opportunity to be mad about my accident. I never acknowledged how I felt about my constant pain. I never gave a voice to myself to say how much of a failure I felt like as a mother because I couldn't be there and take care of my kids. This was a HUGE awakening for me. And the best part for me at the time, was that I didn't have to go out and tell the world. I sat in my room and talked to my guides. I cried many nights to my guides. And immediately I realized I was feeling better. And the better I felt, the more I wanted to talk to others. I wanted them to see me and who I was. I started to think differently about asking for help and I definitely realized what I am and am not capable of. The feeling of empowerment slowly started to consume me. And, I LOVED every minute of it! After a while I tried Reiki and knew my path and purpose was to help others understand what they are truly capable of. I have spent the last 9 years dedicated to my own healing process. It will always be ongoing. Everyday I give myself a little more power through new experiences.
People need people. It took me sometime to really grab onto this one, but people DO need people. We can not survive with out others. We are creators. We are here to have the best human experience possible. They ONLY way to do that is to CO-CREATE. Meaning, we have to be with other people. You can't just say, "ok, universe, bring me money." and then POOF, there is a bag of money at your door. NO! The universe is gonna say, "ok, I will bring you AN EXPERIENCE for you to acknowledge that will allow you an opportunity to make some." Now, only a PERSON can make or give money right? So, in order to process an exchange of money, it needs to be person to person. (yes, I am aware of buying online, just go with me on this, because you STILL need a PERSON to be responsible for the actions.) So, think about it, you want a house, guess what you need a relator, a banker, a inspector, etc. You want a new job? You need and interview, you need a HR manager for new hire paperwork, etc. Do you see what I am getting at? You have to put conscious effort into getting what you want. You truly can have anything you want. You just need to be actionable.
Acceptance. When you get to a point in your life where you accept who you truly are. You don't care. And I mean that in the most BEAUTIFUL way. You learn to let go. You no longer care what others think of you. You no longer care what others do, such as what they are wearing, or where they work, or what car they drive, you do not care that they didn't put on their turn signal before turning. You have a sense of self that most people will NOT allow themselves to feel. (And by the way, I know those people will continue to feel lost until they figure it out.) It is perfectly ok to be sensitive. I am TOTALLY sensitive! About EVERYTHING! Now, keep in mind, my definition is different from most people. Most see it as being too much right, too offended, too scared, too overbearing, etc. To ME, sensitive means, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WILL and WILL NOT tolerate for ME. Meaning, If I am anywhere, I know when something is not good for me, whether it is a person, place or thing. I am sensitive to energies. Meaning, I know when someone is of disservice to me, I also know when someone is looking to rob me of some beautiful white light I carry. I am also sensitive about what I put into my body. I don't want to pollute my body with things that will not allow me to perform at my best. Now, I am not saying I am perfect here, but I DO KNOW when I need to say no. And I also live with balance, so yes, I eat dessert, sometimes even before the main course. (I just don't do it everyday.) I literally teach others how to be sensitive. We need to use our senses more often. That is WHY we have senses. They have purpose. They are there to help us understand what is good and not good for us. They want us to learn through them. Our senses guide us through life. Literally. I mean, especially if you have the gift of sight, can't get too far without it! I want you to understand that it is so ok to be sensitive. If anything we need to be teaching it to every child in school. (which at some point I will do!) I am tired of "sensitive" being a negative word. To me, it is an EMPOWERING word! We should all WANT to have the ability to be sensitive. To be able to use our senses in the ways we have been designed to do! Can you imagine what the world would look like if we were all open to who we truly are and used our senses to guide us through this life? Holy moly! We could be so much farther ahead than we are! And, sensitivity is apart of my path and purpose, so will continue to preach it until I can no longer speak! Which will be a LONG time, especially since my primary energy center is self expression! LOL! Some people work, work, work, work, work, I......talk, talk, talk, talk, talk! And I am incredibly supportive to anyone who is looking to dig deep enough to let their true selves come to the surface, not to mention, it is what I do, so if you are ready to make some big changes in your life to co-create a new and better life, you know where to find me!