Ever think about how your life would be different if your parents, grandparents, teachers, etc. all treated you differently? Ever sit and think to yourself "Why me?" or "Why can't things be better?" Whenever I hear others speaking such words it breaks my heart. There are many reasons to question our lives and our circumstances, but I think most of the time, we are placing blame in the wrong direction.
I, myself, used to be the first one to say my mother was the reason I had such a hard life so far, or to throw my brother under the bus as well. For many years I let myself think and feel this way. And the more I felt this way, the less I was able to change my life to create new and better experiences. Our thoughts truly determine how we think, feel and act. We can not do anything without a thought in our brain. And I held so much resentment, anger and fear towards my family that I made myself look and feel "BROKEN." Let me say that again. I MADE myself LOOK and FEEL BROKEN. No matter where I was, who I was with, or what I was doing in life, I could only go so far before the vicious circle came back and stopped me dead in
my tracks to retreat and not push myself forward. The moment I allowed myself to feel weak I then LOOKED and FELT broken. This cycle went on for years. YEARS! For years I let myself suffer from my own thinking! There were days I felt like I was slowly dying inside. Days I felt as if my worth was not more than a penny. Days I would have like to travel back in time to change anything and everything that lead to my insecurity and feelings of being a victim of others. And the worst of all of it was that I allowed myself to think I was all ALONE. Like I was the ONLY person in the world suffering from my circumstances. To say the least, I had issues. LOTS of issues. So many in fact, that my entire life changed with one event. (That was the universe stopping me hard in my tracks to wake up.) My accident in 2009 is where my entire life changed. That accident literally stopped me from doing anything. I could not work, sit, stand, walk, sleep, lie down without being in pain. (I took a major blow to the head.) My entire nervous system was in shock and my body was completely inflamed from morning till night. I literally had no choice but to sit with me and my thoughts. I was incapable of doing anything else. I slept. A LOT. My body said, "Nope, you are not going to do anything until you figure this out." After 9 months, I was able to go back to work full time. Yep! 9 months of doing NOTHING but trying to figure everything out. Well, really 2 years. Mostly because that is when I decided to push myself forward. I moved, started using alternatives in relieving stress and pain such as meditation and Reiki. I even left my job for a lesser paying job. BUT I knew I didn't want to live the life I was currently experiencing. I had to make changes, so I did. BIG changes inside and out. And it all started with my mind. I was no longer comfortable living my life asleep. I had to dig deep to wake myself up.
Waking up is hard work. For me, it was understanding that I WAS and AM in control of my life. It was coming to the realization that I have the power to do whatever I want as long as it is within my highest path and purpose. It was me looking at myself instead of others first. It was taking back my power and allowing myself to use it to the best of my abilities. In the simplest terms....I AM NOT BROKEN. I never have been. And no one else is either. We have everything we need to be happy, successful, beautiful inside and out. We have absolute power of ourselves and our lives. We can create amazing life experiences. All we have to do it think about it, feel it and act on it. Everyone has their own journey. And no two journeys are the same. I love my journey. And my journey continues daily. There are days it is great, and there are days I question my authenticity. I definitely take pride in being who I am, however, when out in society I can't help but have that tiny little fly in my ear whispering "are you sure?" or "well, they aren't gonna like that." And some days I am like, "YES, I am absolutely sure." or "Who cares if they don't like it." AND then there are days I say, "oh boy, maybe, I am not sure." or "If they don't like it, how will this help me or them?" And either way, I am ok with it. We don't always have to know exactly what we want. Sometimes, we need to have more options. Sometimes we need to think of what will be the best value to others. And after all that is why we are here. We are here to have the best experience by providing our gifts to others and by us receiving and using gifts from other people. Co-creation is the best way to experience this life here on earth. Everyone has a gift that needs to be shared, so go out and give and expect to receive. Use the people around you to break yourself from feeling you are broken.
I have said it many times. People need people. You can not create the best human experiences without OTHER people. And yes, I know, if you have been hurt by someone you can absolutely fall into the, "I can do everything on my own, " category. Well, guess what. That category is not going to get you anywhere. Not every person you meet is going to treat you poorly. Not everyone you meet is going to take and never give back. NOW, if you THINK the world is like that, guess what? Those are the EXACT people AND circumstances you will attract and find yourself in. So, I strongly suggest that you find a way to step into your personal power to see what you can truly be and create within this lifetime. And how do you do that? FIND NEW PEOPLE! Have new experiences. Get out of the house. Take a new class. Eat new foods. Basically, do new things. CONSTANTLY!
When you take yourself out of your comfort zone AND stick to it, you will fall into your power. You will slowly realize you are NOT broken. You will start to know what it is that you want. You will take on new challenges. You will want to learn and discover new things. You will want to reach out to others to help you co-create new life experiences that bring you AND them value. You will learn the balance of giving and receiving naturally. Actually everything will happen naturally. You were born to be a big part of this world. You were born to be apart of other people's lives. You were meant to create and experience joys and wonders only YOU can have. And guess what? None of that can be done with someone who is broken. So, that means NO ONE is EVER broken. If we were truly broken, we could not and would not be here. We would have no way to survive. So, please, please, don't let ANYONE tell you that you are broken. Not even a little bit! You are whole! You are powerful! You are divine! Now, it is time for you to live like it! And today is the perfect day to start!